Disclaimer: This article does not constitute legal advice. If you have any questions about your individual situation it is best to seek the advice of an experienced legal professional.

Getting divorced is often a great relief. But there’s a hitch for those with kids: while marriage isn’t forever, parenting is for life. In the absolute worst case scenario your co-parenting relationship is high conflict and parenting will always be a difficult compromise. This article in Buzzfeed News delves into some of the more difficult co-parenting scenarios, which have been exacerbated by the pandemic. The article states that family law attorneys have reported some co-parents using social distancing as a pretext to monitor and control their spouses’ activities. Some parents are even apparently drawing up social distancing contracts to keep their co-parent on a leash.

Luckily, these scenarios are extreme. If you fight with your co-parent, it’s probably for the same reason you divorced: you just don’t get along that well. But whether your co-parent is a difficult personality, or whether they are nice and calm, if you agree to their social distancing rules without a proper discussion this can cause resentment and can infringe on your separate lives as adults. Or, you might go along with your co-parent’s lax approach to safety and feel resentful and worried. In divorce mediation, social distancing agreements can be integrated into your parenting plan. The benefit of divorce mediation is that it is flexible enough to accommodate the new considerations the pandemic forces us to contemplate.

At Boileau Conflict Solutions we understand the struggles parents are facing as they try to maintain safe social distancing in urban centers like San Diego CA, Santa Clara, CA and LA. One of the biggest obstacles to moving on from divorce and conflict is leaving out small details that seem irrelevant or frivolous. You may have put together a stringent plan for your child’s education during covid-19, but have you thought about the protocol for activities like dating? At BCS, we consider all details relevant to your post-divorce life. We have legal, psychoanalytical and mathematical expertise which is applied as needed during your divorce mediation process. As cities follow partial re-opening protocols, anything from going on a date to going to a restaurant can be fraught with complications. Many parents may be asking themselves some of the following questions about what it means to have your own life but be a good co-parent:

  • Is one partner or a child immuno-compromised?
  • When can I see my partner – what happens if they are exposed to a number of other people?
  • Is it OK to spend time at restaurants, or to go to a protest?
  • What if I’m lonely and want to go on a number of dates?
  • Does my child get to play with my friend’s/partner’s children?
  • What if my ex isn’t wearing a mask?
  • Is it OK for me to go shopping frequently?
  • Should I go on holiday and stay at a hotel?
  • My ex is still doing contact sports/dancing/gathering in large crowds. What can I do about this?

Fortunately, in mediation you can frame these questions in a way that allows you to get results rather than cause conflict.

Who We Are and How We Can Help

The mediators at Boileau Conflict Solutions are caring, well-educated mediators who are skilled in applied financial mathematics, the law psychoanalysis, and game theory. We are familiar with the challenges facing families and parents in the West Coast area in cities like San Diego, CA and Santa Clara, CA. We strive to efficiently comprehend your situation and its opportunities for sustainable and agreeable resolution. This may include a review of your parenting plan, spousal support calculations, community property equalization, settlement agreement, and all other aspects of your case. We can either confidentially present you with a private analysis, or mediate the conflict with both of you until resolved. Any resolution you come to will be informed by a deeper analysis of the conflict that can be psychoanalytic and/or more financially-focused. Conflict analysis can result in a more optimized understanding of the net community property, which adds value to the overall estate, benefiting you both. The sooner you can resolve your conflict, the sooner you can begin to craft a sustainable future for you and your children. We work with individuals from several cultures and countries, and can help with national and international relocation issues associated with divorce. Our safe, socially distanced mediations can be facilitated by Telephone, Zoom, Facetime and other videoconferencing tools. We are available 7 days a week and at urgent notice. Please contact us to see how we can help.


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