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Divorce and the Family Home: A Decision that Means Much More in a Pandemic

During the pandemic, most of us have confronted what’s most important to us and had to adjust priorities. If you are planning to move or getting a divorce, the critical factor could be the physical roof over your head and the four walls that shelter you during lockdown. It can be particularly hard to give up the family home under ordinary circumstances, but lockdown may make it an even more emotional decision. Lockdown may also have reinforced a need for a change of space. Either way, the decision about what to do with the family home carries much more weight right now.

A Better Response to Uncertainty

As well as being a more emotionally charged decision, it is also a more financially fraught decision. The global financial future is uncertain at the moment, but it’s not just the value of your home, there may be questions over your ability to pay the mortgage if you have lost your job or are in danger of losing your job.

The financial and the emotional are almost always more closely intertwined than it appears. At Boileau Conflict Solutions we approach our mediations using financial, psychoanalytical and legal expertise. All agreements come down to values, which can scale up from the most mundane financial agreements to the more emotional or even spiritual values. The family home has particular significance because it represents security and/or history. Some may be glad to see the back of the family home. In some cases it may be a less emotional decision, and you may simply need help with a plan to maximize the value of your number one marital asset during an uncertain time.

Questions you may face include:

  • Will the value of your home stay stable?
  • How will you pay off your debt if the home value drops?
  • Can you afford to keep paying the mortgage?
  • Who gets to stay in the family home? (this can be a point of conflict)
  • Can you afford to buy each other out?
  • Does the home need any improvements and who will pay?
  • Do you need to take into consideration any advantages or disadvantages of keeping your current home in case of future lockdowns, such as parking, outdoor space
  • Are your children attached to the family home, or are you located nearby to elderly parents or your children’s school?

At Boileau Conflict Solutions, we can help you review these questions with dignity, transparency and careful planning. During a global pandemic, where you live should not be taken for granted. Relevant concerns about the safety and the value of your home, as well all the usual financial and considerations should be evaluated in mediation. When you mediate your divorce, it’s possible to integrate the feelings and contributions of both partners into a positive plan for your future security.

Who We Are and How We Can Help

We are caring, well-educated mediators who are skilled in applied financial mathematics, the law psychoanalysis, and game theory. We strive to efficiently comprehend your situation and its opportunities for sustainable and agreeable resolution. This may include a review of your parenting plan, spousal support calculations, community property equalization, settlement agreement, and all other aspects of your case. We can either confidentially present you with a private analysis, or mediate the conflict with both of you until resolved. Any resolution you come to will be informed by a deeper analysis of the conflict that can be psychoanalytic and/or more financially-focused. Conflict analysis can result in a more optimized understanding of the net community property, which adds value to the overall estate, benefiting you both. If you are struggling in your marriage but don’t want to get divorced, we offer marital mediation that helps you resolve conflicts over a variety of issues from parenting, sexuality, finances, careers, family, spirituality, and more.  Marital mediation is goal oriented, time limited, and practical, and often results in clearly written agreements that are private, but can also be drafted as postnuptial agreements with legal significance if needed.  The sooner you can resolve your conflict, the sooner you can begin to craft a sustainable future for you and your children. We work with individuals from several cultures and countries, and can help with national and international relocation issues associated with divorce. Our safe, socially distanced mediations can be facilitated by Telephone, Zoom, Facetime and other videoconferencing tools. We are available 7 days a week and at urgent notice. Please contact us to see how we can help.

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