While women can now claim greater agency within their relationships and careers, research shows they still struggle to assert themselves financially within a marriage. Letting go of financial control isn’t a decision that is made overnight, it can often be something that becomes a problem over time. If the husband is the breadwinner, the role of money manager may not be adopted the wife. Too late, when divorce happens, the wife or lower earner may realize they are on unsteady financial footing. The divorce can be beset with confusion, conflict and resentment.

Women often suffer from chronically low self-esteem when it comes to money. As the lower earning spouse in a marriage, whatever your gender, it is important to be cautious about the financial aspects of your divorce and to make realistic plans to take care of yourself in the future.

Financial Self Care

The process of getting divorced is one that is undeniably painful and complex. Without a good handle on your financial resources, the lower earning partner can feel out of control and may give up on getting a good deal. Women with chronically low self-esteem might feel like their role as a home-maker isn’t as important as their spouse’s role as the breadwinner. At BCS we are West Coast mediators and certified financial experts who understand that divorce is an important business deal but also an emotionally challenging experience that requires care and being gentle with yourself.

Our mediations consider the value of all contributions in a marriage. If you are a lower earning spouse struggling to assert yourself in your divorce negotiations, we can help you see the big picture in which you were an active participant in the marriage and can negotiate for a better deal for yourself. The mediators at BCS can mediate and consult with you and your spouse together and/or separately. If you are struggling with financial empowerment, we can help you understand the technicalities of your finances or recommend other literature and advice to help you regain a sense of control. Every aspect of your financial and emotional wellbeing is relevant to a divorce. We use mathematical and psychoanalytical tools to make a thorough analysis of your finances and your common and separate interests. The goal is to make the divorce as transparent and equitable as possible, clearly showing priorities, goals and options for moving forward. If you find paperwork difficult we may also be able to concierge these aspects of your divorce.

Covid and Financial Instability

There is no reason why the role you chose in marriage should leave you financially stranded when the marriage ends. During the pandemic, it is even more important to be careful about how you exit your marriage. Assets in your marriage, such as your property, your family business or stock and investments can be affected. During the pandemic we offer West Coast couples financially and emotionally mindful mediation that is flexible and shock-proof should there be any sudden changes to the financial landscape. As the financially vulnerable spouse, you might also be concerned about your earning power during the pandemic. We can assist you with career coaching, earning estimates and more to help you get back on your feet. Spouses leaving a marriage with low financial self- esteem are likely undervaluing their qualifications, earning power and potential.

Who We Are and How We Can Help

We are California mediators who are caring, well-educated and skilled in applied financial mathematics, the law psychoanalysis, and game theory. We strive to efficiently comprehend your situation and its opportunities for sustainable and agreeable resolution. This may include a review of your parenting plan, spousal support calculations, community property equalization, settlement agreement, and all other aspects of your case. We can either confidentially present you with a private analysis, or mediate the conflict with both of you until resolved. Any resolution you come to will be informed by a deeper analysis of the conflict that can be psychoanalytic and/or more financially-focused. Conflict analysis can result in a more optimized understanding of the net community property, which adds value to the overall estate, benefiting you both. Our specially trained divorce mediator-accountants can also help reveal and investigate the proven financial facts of a divorce to make a full financial appraisal of your divorce and to suggest creative solutions for financial planning after divorce. Our high-level divorce mediation services are tailored to the needs of people with busy and complex lives. We can intervene to break litigation deadlocks when divorces are already underway. We work with individuals from several cultures and countries, and can help with national and international relocation issues associated with divorce. Our remote mediations are safe, socially distant and completely confidential, secured by two private servers. We are available 7 days a week and at urgent notice. Please contact us to see how we can help.

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