Disclaimer: This article does not constitute legal advice. If you have any questions about your individual situation it is best to seek the advice of an experienced legal professional.

A new study published by Fidelity reveals the extent to which couples lose control of their finances in divorce. A staggering 80 percent of respondents revealed regret about not being involved in the daily finances in their marriage. The good news is that most people recover financially within 5 years of divorce. However, as the study showed, those who were less involved with the finances during marriage took longer to recover. What if you could take control of your finances earlier? Many people don’t realize that divorce planning is a normal part of leaving a marriage. Divorce mediation allows you to plan a safe exit by helping you to work collaboratively.

If you are not getting divorced but you have woken up to the financial reality of your marriage you could mediate a prenup to protect you both. If money is an issue for you in your marriage you could enter marital mediation to help you and your spouse get on an even financial footing. At Boileau Conflict Solutions we look at separate and mutual interests using mathematical and psychoanalytical tools like game theory to make a calculation that is best for you both.

Financial Timebombs in your Marriage

If you haven’t looked at your finances but are contemplating divorce, there are may be financial time-bombs that can explode later on. One thing to consider is that not all assets are made equal. When you divorce you will need liquid assets to cover the inevitable expenses of setting up a new life. This is why many advisers recommend selling the house to pay for divorce. This strategy works for some people, but every divorcing couple should have a tailor-made strategy. It is much easier to work this out in mediation rather than attacking each other in adversarial litigation.

Valuing the Contribution of Women and Homemakers

Many of the financially unprepared are women and homemakers who have may have raised kids and not had an active role in the finances. The first challenge these people face is valuing their contribution in divorce. One of the reasons they may walk away from their marriages in shock is because they haven’t advocated for themselves during divorce. Because they haven’t earned the money they feel they don’t “deserve” a fair share of the finances. The advantage of mediation is that it can make very accurate assessments of people’s time and contributions. Homemakers’ contributions do count, and in mediation the mediator can gain information from the couples to put together a plan that reflects their shared lives and contributions.

Financial Hygiene and Education

When you enter mediation with financial experts like the mediators at Boileau Conflict Solutions it presents a unique opportunity to educate yourself about your finances and develop better habits in the future. You can ensure that complicated assets like cryptocurrency, retirement accounts and stock options no longer go over your head and that you receive your fair share. Divorcing also means tying up loose ends — reviewing your estate plan (or making one if you don’t already have one). At BCS we can even coach you individually to help you reach your financial goals and restart your career. Divorce can knock your confidence but getting back on your feet is much easier with careful planning and support.

Who We Are and How We Can Help

We are caring, well-educated mediators who are skilled in applied financial mathematics, the law psychoanalysis, and game theory. We strive to efficiently comprehend your situation and its opportunities for sustainable and agreeable resolution. This may include a review of your parenting plan, spousal support calculations, community property equalization, settlement agreement, and all other aspects of your case. We can either confidentially present you with a private analysis, or mediate the conflict with both of you until resolved. Any resolution you come to will be informed by a deeper analysis of the conflict that can be psychoanalytic and/or more financially-focused. Conflict analysis can result in a more optimized understanding of the net community property, which adds value to the overall estate, benefiting you both. Our specially trained divorce mediator-accountants can also help reveal and investigate the proven financial facts of a divorce to make a full financial appraisal of your divorce and to suggest creative solutions for financial planning after divorce. Our high-level divorce mediation services are tailored to the needs of people with complex lives or divorces that may be difficult or protracted. We can intervene to break litigation deadlocks when divorces are already underway. We work with individuals from several cultures and countries, and can help with national and international relocation issues associated with divorce. You can visit us at our offices in Campbell, CA, Irvine, CA and San Diego, CA. We can also be reached by Telephone, Zoom or Facetime. We are available 7 days a week and at urgent notice. Please contact us to see how we can help.

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