A recent survey on who was getting divorced during covid found newlyweds most at risk. Though many couples are struggling, quarantine has put particular strain on marriages younger than 5 years old. The good news is that research has also suggested that the pandemic is making things clearer for couples and families. In some cases, this can actually lead to increased commitment and more caring, equitable relationships. Spouses have a better understanding of what goes into work or childcare, so have more empathy for their partner’s struggles and obligations.
If you love your partner, but are convinced you have to divorce because you aren’t getting along, this might not be your only option. Breaking open obstacles and turning them into opportunities is possible in marital mediation. Not only this, but mediation teaches skills for relating and problem solving going forward. If you are at an impasse, but still feel committed to your partner, you don’t have to choose the nuclear option.
Reconciling Expectations and Interests
There are many possible reasons why newlyweds are most likely to get divorced. Factors could include that they are more likely to have young children, that they have higher expectations of each other, that quarantine represents the end of the honey-moon phase. It could also be due to the fact that younger couples are more social and struggle to get along together without social outlets. There could be a clash of career priorities and work from home situations might become be tense. It could also be due to the fact that people have not had as much time together to figure out how they work best as a team.
The mediators at Boileau Conflict Solutions have experience working with couples on the West Coast and in the San Diego area. Pressures on certain demographics in the West Coast and other areas, due to career, housing costs and more, can be intense. When we work with couples in divorce mediation or marital mediation, we can apply a varied skillset to tease out the top priorities in a marriage. These could be financial, emotional or childcare related. We have financial, legal and psychoanalytical expertise that allows us to go deeper into the interests and priorities of couples.
Conflict always looks like a mess at first glance, but mediation shows us it is actually a system that can be understood like any other. Marital mediation is NOT the same as marriage counselling. It teaches you practical skills to avoid conflict and is goal orientated. First and foremost making sense of conflict involves finding out what you really want. Locating these deep interests is something younger couples might be doing for the first time. Taking time to discover your interests and looking at the practical and emotional ways you can help each other can be a vital triage for young couples who are struggling. If you love your partner but you’re struggling, use mediation to find out how to support each other during quarantine.
Who We Are and How We Can help
We are caring, well-educated West Coast Mediators who are skilled in applied financial mathematics, the law psychoanalysis, and game theory. We strive to efficiently comprehend your situation and its opportunities for sustainable and agreeable resolution. This may include a review of your parenting plan, spousal support calculations, community property equalization, settlement agreement, and all other aspects of your case. If you are struggling in your marriage but don’t want to get divorced, we offer marital mediation that helps you resolve conflicts over a variety of issues from parenting, sexuality, finances, careers, family, spirituality, and more. Marital mediation is goal oriented, time limited, and practical, and often results in clearly written agreements that are private, but can also be drafted as postnuptial agreements with legal significance if needed. Our high-level divorce mediation and marital services are tailored to the needs of people with complex lives or divorces that may be difficult or protracted. We work with individuals from several cultures and countries, and can help with national and international relocation issues associated with divorce. You can visit us at our offices in Campbell, CA, Irvine, CA and San Diego, CA. We can also be reached by Telephone, Zoom or Facetime. We are available 7 days a week and at urgent notice. Please contact us to see how we can help.