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Not Divorced, But Not Together… How Mediation Can Help You Negotiate Non-Traditional Agreements like Anthony Bourdain’s

Disclaimer: This article does not constitute legal advice. If you have any questions about your individual situation it is best to seek the advice of an experienced legal professional.

When Anthony Bourdain died, he left behind the woman who was his life partner as far as the public were concerned. This was Asia Argento, actress famous for her role in the #MeToo movement. What was surprising to some people was that he also left behind a wife. One interesting part of her inheritance from him was the frequent flyer miles he left to her. This must have been a very appropriate gift from a husband who was frequently away travelling.

The situation appeared to be fairly amicable, but not everyone’s choices will work out this way. When you turn to mediation to help you negotiate temporary or permanent agreements about your relationship with your spouse you can be more confident that the boundaries of your agreement will be respected (whether separation agreements or more informal agreements). These agreements don’t have to be legally binding, unless you choose.

Issues you could face if you choose to postpone or avoid divorce include:

– Resentment from new partners about being left out of inheritance. Potential conflict if you pass away without having made plans.
– Conflict over child support and maintenance if these haven’t been formalized.
– Inability to move on and emotional confusion with new partners.
– Complications arising from having a child with a new partner while still married.
– Damage to children’s feelings when a situation isn’t being managed in a clear way.

Non-traditional agreements don’t have to be a problem, but additional clarification may be needed than with traditional agreements, such as a divorce. Mediation is a non-judgmental space in which the priority is the collective well-being of the parties to an agreement. A neutral mediator with financial, psychoanalytical and legal expertise can help guide parties towards resolutions that take into account a variety of factors. Our mediators use game theory to uncover interests and open up new possibilities to facilitate non-traditional agreements. Being clear on whether agreements are temporary or permanent, on parenting responsibilities and expectations can leave separated partners free to be honest with each other, new partners and children.

How We Can Help

We are caring, well-educated mediators who are skilled in applied financial mathematics, the law psychoanalysis, and game theory. We strive to efficiently comprehend your situation and its opportunities for sustainable and agreeable resolution. Any resolution you come to will be informed by a deeper analysis of the conflict that can be psychoanalytic and/or more financially-focused. We provide a non-judgmental space in which to work out the agreement that suits you, whether more straightforward or non-traditional. Our high-level divorce mediation services are tailored to the needs of people with complex lives or divorces that may be difficult or protracted. We can intervene to break litigation deadlocks when divorces are already underway. You can visit us at our offices in Boulder, CO, Campbell, CA, Irvine, CA and Beverly Hills, CA. We can also be reached by Telephone, Zoom or Facetime. We are available 7 days a week and at urgent notice. Please contact us to see how we can help.

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